Feeling Lost After Graduation? You’re Not Alone (Or Behind)

My first job post-college was an extension of my college job.My boss generously created a new position for me—“Business Development Specialist.” Sounds fancy, but truthfully, I had no idea what that even meant and what my day to day was supposed to look like for a small, local yacht rental company. I was grateful to have something lined up after graduation, but that didn't make it less terrifying.

I remember chatting with friends going into consulting, marketing, sales at tech companies, or jumping straight into grad school. It made me wonder: Did I miss something? Should I have chosen a more obvious path? And perhaps the most unnerving part—it felt like there were no more guardrails. No syllabus, no clear next steps, no built in community of friends. Just a blurry horizon and the pressure to somehow figure it all out.

As a therapist, my second passion (other than couples and relationship therapy)  is working with young adults—whether they’re in college, graduating, or charting their own path (because college isn’t the only path there is).. And I’ve noticed a consistent theme in the therapy room: questioning your decisions, fearing you’re already behind, and carrying this quiet belief that you should already have your life together.

Every time a client brings these up,it’s a reminder of my own 22 year old self. But I also have the knowledge, experience and  the wisdom of time to say confidently: what you’re feeling is not just normal—it’s actually a healthy process to go through.

So let’s talk about a few ways I support my clients who are in the thick of this post-grad uncertainty—those navigating the overwhelm and existential crises of young adulthood.

1. Exploring What Actually Matters (Not Just What Sounds Impressive)

You might not know what you want to do for the rest of your life (and that’s okay). Most people don’t. And even the ones who think they know often pivot later. Instead of trying to find your “forever job,” I help clients get curious about what feels aligned right now.

We explore:

• What kind of lifestyle do you want to build?

• What energizes you vs. what drains you?

• What environments help you feel most like yourself?
  
  

I use values-based exploration to help clients connect with what matters most—whether that’s autonomy, creativity, community impact, financial security, continuous learning, or flexibility.

Here are 3 questions to start exploring your career-related values:

• What do I want my work to provide outside of a paycheck (growth, purpose, connection, stability)?

• When have I felt most fulfilled or alive in school, work, or hobbies? What was I doing?

• How much structure vs. freedom do I thrive with—and how does that play into my ideal work environment?
  
  

This isn’t about finding one perfect answer—it’s about clarifying what’s meaningful to you so you can make decisions from a place of alignment, not fear or comparison.

2. Learning to Tolerate the Unknown

Here’s the part nobody likes to hear: uncertainty is unavoidable. And our brains hate that. We want answers, closure, and security—but early adulthood is often full of ambiguity.

When you pretend you’re not supposed to feel uncertain, anxious, or confused, it can lead to harsh self-judgment. But when you recognize that these emotions are normal responses to a transition—they lose a bit of their power.

I help clients build tools to stay grounded, even when the future feels foggy.

Here are 3 practices for tolerating uncertainty:

• Name it instead of numbing it. Try saying: “This is uncertainty. This is hard. And I can handle this moment.” Labeling what you're experiencing can reduce shame and help you regulate.

• Create small anchors. When the future feels unstable, grounding yourself in simple, routine actions (like morning movement, weekly check-ins with a friend, or cooking dinner) can offer a sense of predictability.

• Set short-term experiments. Not sure if marketing is for you? Try a free course, a small freelance project, or a few informational interviews. You don’t need to commit to forever—just take one step forward and see what you learn.
  

Confidence comes after action. Most clarity is earned by trying, stumbling, reflecting, and trying again—not by overthinking from the sidelines.

3. Seeking Mentors and Support Systems

One of the most empowering things you can do post-college is to talk to people who have walked a similar path. Ask how they got where they are. Ask what they love (and don’t love) about their day-to-day. Ask what they would do differently.

You’re not supposed to figure this all out in isolation.

Support can come from anywhere:

• A professor whom you admired

• A boss or coworker  from your internship

• A parent’s friend who works in a field you’re curious about

• That friend a couple years ahead who’s already landed their first or second job
  

Many people are more than willing to share their insights—you just have to ask.

It’s not about networking in a stiff, corporate sense. It’s about connection, curiosity, and recognizing that growth often comes through community.

A Note to My 22-Year-Old Self

If I could go back and tell my 22-year-old self one thing, it would be this:

You are not supposed to know exactly what you’re doing. This time is meant to stretch you, shape you, and push you. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

When I look back at the jobs I took that I pursue, or the ones that weren’t a “perfect fit,” I don’t regret them. Each step taught me something. Each misstep revealed a little more about who I was and who I wanted to be.

So if you’re standing at the edge of graduation—or simply feeling lost in early adulthood—here’s your permission to exhale. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to keep showing up, stay curious, and trust that the path is unfolding in ways you can’t yet see.

And if you need a place to process the pressure, talk through your options, or just feel a little more grounded in the middle of the mess—I’d be honored to walk alongside you. I work with young adults virtually throughout California or in-person in Santa Barbara.

Schedule a free 15 minute intro call to learn more and feel confident navigating school, work, relationships and everything else that comes along with it.